Constantine (2005) Dir: Francis Lawrence

Based on a DC Comic, Constantine is a mash-up of theological shenanigans and CGI meltdowns.

The plot:
Perma-bland Reanu Keeves plays John Constantine, a detective who investigates all things supernatural. See, he isn't like you or me, for he can 'see' things demonic and supernatural.
We join Constantine as he is attempting to exorcise a young girl. to rid her of a demon which, he is surprised to discover, is a soldier demon attempting to break through into our world, something he previously believed impossible.
Shortly afterwards, Constantine is attacked on the street by another demon, and soon begins to realise that the demonic forces are gathering strength and, as his investigations continue, he discovers that Satan's son himself is keen to wreak havoc upon mankind.
So far, so apocalyptic.

The director does a decent job visually, and it is clear that the source material is comic book based, merely from the visual style.
The CGI work is excellent, with Hell brought to the screen in fairly conventional, Dante's Inferno-lite manner, with some clever creature designs.
Heck, even Reanu is passably OK, as all he is required to do is wander around the screen in a maudlin manner, something even he is capable of.
Losing some impetus towards the end, as CGI-overload kicks in, this is almost a really good film.
It won't change your world, you'll never want to watch it again, but for the duration it is passably entertaining.
But no more.

3 out of 5

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) Dir: Edgar Wright

Edgar 'Spaced, Shaun of the Dead' Wright's massively divisive video game fantasy is a strange beast.

The plot:
Dork supremo Michael Cera plays Scott Pilgrim, bassist in a band called Sex Bob-Omb. Even though he is in his early twenties, he's dating a seventeen year old Chinese girl named Knives. At a party, hoping to get a break with some A and R types, he meets the girl of his dreams, Ramona, and promptly makes a complete tit of himself.
A few days later, when Scott opens his door to receive a parcel, he is surprised to find that it is Ramona herself acting as courier and plucks up the courage to ask her on a date. Reluctantly, she agrees, but omits to tell him that, in order to date her Scott must do battle to the death against her Seven Evil Exes.....

Based on a graphic novel, visually this combines the comic strip ethic with retro video game stylings: When a punch lands, captions pop up saying Kerpow, when a phone rings, it's there in lettering on the screen and, when an enemy is defeated, they are rendered into coins to be gathered.
With a soundtrack that utilises the sound effects from classic computer games, this should be every gamers fantasy but, crucially, the thing that drags this down is the teen soap opera trappings of the plot. Take away the overtly stylistic approach from Wright, and what you are left with is an extended episode of Hollyoaks, which no-one wants, surely.
This hybridisation leaves it quite a cold viewing experience as, for everything of merit, there is an element to disappoint.
Quite unlike any other film I have ever seen, for which credit is due, it's also pretty clear why this flopped so spectacularly at the box office.
A failure, then, but a noble one.

3 out of 5

X-Men: First Class (2011) Dir: Matthew Vaughn

Fifth movie outing for the mutant franchise, surely everyone is getting a little bit sick of it all by now?
The plot:
It's 1963 and Charles Xavier, a young Professor at Oxford University, becomes increasingly aware of the flourishing of mutant's in the world, and the potential war that is to come, both between 'normal' people and mutants, and within mutant circles, as lines of dominance are forged.
So it is, against a backdrop of growing hostilities between USA and USSR, which would culminate in the Cuban Missile Crisis with the world on the brink of thermonuclear war, that he forms his school for mutants and, with his first intake of pupils, must ensure a peaceful resolution to the Cuban situation.
Being an origins story, much of the focus here is on establishing just why the characters we are familiar with at a latter point in their chronology behave as they do and, in that, this movie is successful.
Having never read the comics, it is difficult to say how accurate they are in terms of the series mythos, but everything seemed to make sense, fine and dandy like.
Other plus points include Kevin Bacon's creepy turn as Sebastian Shaw, the villain of the piece to begin with, until Magneto steps forward, as well as some cool new mutants, in particular Tron disc throwing Havok.
But it's all a touch dull, in truth.
There's no real sense of urgency or dramatic tension.
We know the mutants are going to survive.
We know Professor X and Magneto are going to come through in the end and we know that, in the final showdown, Professor X will be paralysed.
We know all of that, and the writer's don't really give us anything else to chew on.
Functionality is the key word here.
The direction is functional.
The plotting is functional.
The performances are functional.
Nothing stands out, there's no flair, no surprises, nothing to genuinely excite, which is a real surprise considering the director's last movie was the simply excellent Kick Ass.
Can't say it's rubbish, folks, but it's a little in one ear,out the other.

3 out of 5

Iron Man 2 (2010) Dir: Jon Favreau

The inevitable sequel to the surprisingly popular Iron Man hits the screens, all tangles of flying metal and squirtings of testosterone.
But is it any good?
Well, yes, quite simply.
Though not quite as engaging as the original, it is difficult not to enjoy this comic book romp that achieves something so few effects laden movies do: create characters that you give a damn about.
Robert Downey Jr. has made the role of Stark his own, all brash confidence and abrasive smugness in public, riven by complexities and fears when in private, and even the relationship between Stark and his ever present assistant, Miss Pepper Potts, played by that walking tumour Pwyneth Galtrow, is enjoyable enough as they banter ceaselessly.
Normally about now I would detail the plot but, truthfully, here it isn't necessary as there is next to no plot to speak of. Well, a vengeful Russian played with delightful menace by Mickey Rourke, a man whose face looks as if his skin is actually rejecting the skull beneath it, wants to exact his revenge on Stark for the apparent role of the Stark family in his own fathers death.
He's got Iron Man technology of his own, and he's not afraid to use it, striding through the Monaco Grand Prix, wielding his electro-whips with genuine zeal, slicing Stark's car in two with ease.
That's about it for the plot, besides some guff about Stark becoming increasingly erratic due to prolonged exposure to the technology itself.
Inevitably, the last fifteen minutes or so degenerates into a CGI-fest, but it's well executed, and at least has a sense of geography, so you can see what is happening at all times.
Marvel seem to be spunking forth more hits than misses these days, and here's another that falls into the former category.
Very enjoyable indeed.

4 out of 5