Friday 29 July 2011

Terminator Salvation (2009) Dir: McG


Please, Almighty God, up there in Heaven, Merciful Be Thy name.
Those were the thoughts that occurred when first news broke of Terminator Mk IV.
Then it emerged that Christian Bale would be the lead and I thawed somewhat, nay, even looked forward to it.

The plot:
In 2003 a death row inmate, Marcus Wright (Sam 'Avatar, Clash of the Tight 'Uns' Worthington) signs his still breathing carcass over for medical research.
In 2018, 14 years after the initial Skynet strike which eliminated most of humanity, pockets of resistance still survive, led by Our Hero, Christian 'Director of Photography baiting' Bale as John Connor.
After fighting off a few metallic bad guys, Connor discovers that Skynet has a new tactic: the ability to mould life-like, fake flesh over the metallic skeletons of the Terminator's.
Apparently harvesting humans, Skynet is determined to wipe out the blight of humanity once and for all, including Kyle Reese, the man who would go on to become Michael Biehn in the original movie.
Then they take Marcus Wright prisoner.
Then, with the aid of a female insider, he escapes.
Then he turns against his own kind.
Then he seems to save the day.
Then Kyle Reese is in jeopardy again.
Then.......

Confused?
I know I was.
Let's be clear about a couple of things right away:
The plot is a shambles.
It's incoherent, lacking structure or a seeming 'purpose' within its own internal logic and frankly baffles at times.
Christian Bale, much as I like him - he's great as Batman, is feverishly intense in The Machinist and was the best thing about the otherwise lacklustre The Fighter - here delivers lines by either roaring angrily or whispering furiously, and nought in between, which gets a bit silly, almost parodic at times.
But none of that stuff really matters, because this is just a really cool sci-fi actioner.
The robots look cool.
The new motorbike-mounted Terminators look cool.
Christian Bale looks fucking cool.
And it flies by. You're not given chance to think too much about what's happening, or really care, as another building is exploding, another dogfight kicking off, another bout of ground based conflict ensuing.
I thought this film was bloody great and, frankly, I'm only docking a point because it's directed by someone arse-kickingly preposterous enough to dub himself McG.
Liked this very much indeed.

4 out of 5

Thursday 28 July 2011

Death Note: The Last Name (2006) Dir: Shûsuke Kaneko


Conclusion of the live action version of the critically acclaimed anime series.

The plot:
As L continues his investigations, believing himself to be tightening the noose on Kira, whom he suspects to be an alias of Light, his thoughts are confused by the apparent emergence of a second Kira, Kira II, who seems more ruthless than the first. whereas the original Kira would only kill convicted criminals, Kira II will kill anyone he / she deems worthy of death.
Can L uncover the secret of the Death Note and the Gods of Death before Kira II becomes unstoppable?

A direct continuation of the first movie, this has all of the strengths and weaknesses, too.
Plot-wise, this is intriguing, and well played by all concerned.
The addition of the second Kira adds a new element of suspense, and everything plays out in a logical, well-presented manner.
Still the gripe holds that the appearance of the Gods of Death is a little bizarre, though representative of the anime versions, but mixed in with the live action, it all just feels a little bit Roger Rabbit.
Still, an exciting, gripping conclusion to the story.
Liked it a lot.

4 out of 5

Wednesday 27 July 2011

Constantine (2005) Dir: Francis Lawrence


Based on a DC Comic, Constantine is a mash-up of theological shenanigans and CGI meltdowns.

The plot:
Perma-bland Reanu Keeves plays John Constantine, a detective who investigates all things supernatural. See, he isn't like you or me, for he can 'see' things demonic and supernatural.
We join Constantine as he is attempting to exorcise a young girl. to rid her of a demon which, he is surprised to discover, is a soldier demon attempting to break through into our world, something he previously believed impossible.
Shortly afterwards, Constantine is attacked on the street by another demon, and soon begins to realise that the demonic forces are gathering strength and, as his investigations continue, he discovers that Satan's son himself is keen to wreak havoc upon mankind.
So far, so apocalyptic.

The director does a decent job visually, and it is clear that the source material is comic book based, merely from the visual style.
The CGI work is excellent, with Hell brought to the screen in fairly conventional, Dante's Inferno-lite manner, with some clever creature designs.
Heck, even Reanu is passably OK, as all he is required to do is wander around the screen in a maudlin manner, something even he is capable of.
Losing some impetus towards the end, as CGI-overload kicks in, this is almost a really good film.
It won't change your world, you'll never want to watch it again, but for the duration it is passably entertaining.
But no more.

3 out of 5

Cars 2 (2011) Dir: John Lasseter, Brad Lewis


The most poorly received Pixar movie to date.

The plot:
An oil fiend, Sir Miles Axlerod, sees the error of his ways and creates a new, environmentally sound fuel to rival petrol.
In order to promote his new fuel and to demonstrate that you lose none of the power, he organises a world grand prix, in which the world's fastest cars will race.
Mater, the dumb pick-up truck from the original movie, convinces Lightning McQueen to take part.
Meantime, a pair of secret agents are on the trail of villains and, somewhat foolishly, become convinced that Mater himself is a fellow agent sent to assist them.

The criticism this has received seems a little mystifying, as this is surely more action-packed and energetic than the first, with less of the gloopy sentimentalising which that film was guilty of.
With three grand prix's, and the bolt on espionage plot line, hardly a minute goes by without something occurring, which certainly holds the interest.
If there is a flaw - and there is - it is the choose of Mater as, effectively, lead role. He was bloody annoying first time round, so it seems a strange choice to feature him so prominently this time. It's a bit like giving Jar Jar Binks his own movie.
Still, for harmless, family entertainment, Pixar remain hard to beat, though this one won't stand the test of time quite so well as genuine classics like Wall-E.
Still good, though.

4 out of 5

Tuesday 26 July 2011

Barbarella (1968) Dir: Roger Vadim


Based on a cult French comic strip, this is the ultimate in high camp silliness.

The plot:
Jane Fonda plays Barbarella, Captain of a pink, plushly carpeted spacecraft, tasked with hunting down renegade Durand Durand.
On her way, she will encounter a lesbian queen, pot smoking aliens and Durand Durand himself, capable of driving a victim to death by the power of sexual pleasure alone.

And it's all a load of old nonsense, though not without it's charm.
The special effects are great; completely over the top, all garish colours and elaborate design.
Jane Fonda, in the lead role, does an impressively comical job of delivering some of the worst dialogue in movie history, and doesn't really try too hard to keep a straight face.
With an offbeat, sexy quirkiness that has ensured its status as a camp cult classic, this is certainly an acquired taste but, if the likes of Flash Gordon or the Adam West Batman series bring a smile to your face, you could do a lot worse than check out this kitsch oddity.
Enjoyed it rather more than perhaps I should have done, and not just because of Jane's deliciously pert breasts.

4 out of 5

Monday 25 July 2011

Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009) Dir: John Hyams


Fourth installment of the super-soldier franchise is a depressingly dull affair.

The plot:
A bunch of terrorists seize control of the abandoned Chernobyl nuclear reactor, and threaten to use the nuclear energy still present to cause devastation on a scale never previously seen.
The solution?
Introduce original Universal Soldier Luc Devereaux to sort the fuckers out.

With a moderate budget, this initially manages to make the most of it's meagre resources but, strangely, the movie seems to lose momentum massively as soon as old creased-face Long Cord Man Slamme puts in an appearance.
And what an appearance.
He looks like he's turning into fucking leather.
To add a little bit of spice to proceedings, that other retro-bruiser Dolph Lundgren turns up and generally just gurns about the place, beating the living shit out of one or two likely sorts.
Violence wise, this is pretty intense, with prolonged fight sequences that are reasonably unflinching, and particularly well choreographed.
If only they'd left Man Slamme at home, this could have been a real winner.
Shame.
Disappointingly dull, then.

2 out of 5

Sunday 24 July 2011

Brazil (1985) Dir: Terry Gilliam


Terry Gilliam's most revered movie.

The plot:
A low-level worker, Sam Lowry, is assigned to correct a bureaucratic error caused when an errant fly becomes caught up in the mechanisms of a printer, causing an innocent man to be incarcerated.
Lowry, in his efforts to correct the mistake, becomes ever more entangled in a world of red tape and bureaucracy that, ultimately, may cost him his very sanity.

Mixing fantasy with arch black comedy, Gilliam’s style is one that is not for every palate.
Set in a dystopian, grim vision of the world, this bears many of the hallmarks of Michael Radford’s interpretation of Orwell’s 1984, though here the tone is more slapstick, less bleak. With a heritage that encompasses the paranoid grime of 1970’s sci-fi, as well as the obvious link to the farcical humour of Monty Python, it’s an odd mix and, frankly, not one that works for me.
Gilliam, though clearly a proper film-maker – he has a vision all his own, which he effectively renders on screen and absolutely refuses to compromise with a view to gaining mainstream acceptance, two facets that must be applauded – at the same time manages to confuse and alienate many that otherwise consider themselves ‘cult’ aficionados.
With a veritable clutch of powerhouse British acting talent among the assembled participants – Jonathan Pryce, Ian Holm, Bob Hoskins, Michael Palin and Jim Broadbent, as well as the very much Italian American Robert De Niro – there is no denying the credibility of this work, though I can’t for one second say I enjoyed it.
A cult classic, in every conceivable sense of the phrase, this is one that didn’t float the boat here at Smell the Cult HQ, though I am still very, very glad it exists.

2 out of 5

Saturday 23 July 2011

Con Air (1997) Dir: Simon West


Big budget, explosive action thriller from the Simpson / Bruckheimer stable.

The plot:
A gaggle of the most ruthless killers and rapists in America are being transferred across the country by aeroplane. On board, along with the hardened sorts, is one Cameron Poe, played by that most equine of actors, Cic Nage. He's due for release when they reach their destination, due to see his daughter for the very first time and reunite with his estranged wife. He's not a bad sort, Poe, he just got in a bar fight and, with his military training, took things a little too far, trying to protect his wife so, as you can well imagine, when all hell breaks loose on board, and the convicts take control of the plane, Poe has to walk a fine line between helping the authorities bring down the cons, and staying alive.

And, for the first hour and a quarter, this is engagingly silly hokum.
Nage puts in a decent enough performance, though he does seem half asleep at times, and is sporting the most spectacular mullet since Andre Agassi won Wimbledon.
On board we have a motley collection of cult actors, including Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi and Danny Trejo so, instinctively, I warmed towards the picture, genuinely wanting to like it.
Then the explosions start.
And the gun fights.
And the shouting.
And the screaming.
And then there's more explosions.
And more.
And more.
And it does not relent until the credits roll some forty minutes later.
Seriously, it's like sitting watching a movie with a small child screaming in your ear, without pause.
By the time it was through,I was out of breath, my head hurt and, frankly, I just wanted it all to go away. Which is a shame, as it had all started so promisingly.
So, if punishingly loud explosions is what you are after, check this out.
If you are even vaguely human with normal human ears, I'd avoid it, to be honest.

3 out of 5

Friday 22 July 2011

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) Dir: David Yates


The conclusion of the Harry Potter saga is a dark, intense, action packed affair.
The plot:
With Ron, Harry and Hermione in search of the missing Horcruxes, Voldemort's plans to destroy Hogwarts, Harry and all who refused to follow gathers momentum.
Can Harry and chums destroy the Horcruxes in time?
Is Ron given so few lines because he can't actually fucking act?
And is it just me, or does Helena Bonham Carter look increasingly like a slightly more demented Anne Robinson?
With seven movies preceding it, it's clear that any attempt at plot catch-up is redundant, so this just plunges straight into the action.
With some nice character interplay, some extraordinarily spectacular battle sequences that remind one a little of the epic scenes in Lord of the Rings, this is both cinematic and dramatic.
With my only previous Potter movie point of reference being the very first outing, which was shockingly awful, this was a genuine surprise. Gone are the kid-friendly antics and childish tone, in their place high drama and genuine scale.
Whilst I don't think this is a movie that would tolerate many repeat viewings, still there was enough density of plot to suggest at least one more watch could reveal extra detail.
Throw in the fact that the cream of British acting talent are all present, correct and clearly loving every bally minute of it and what you have is a proper cinema experience.
As ever, I watched it in 2D as 3D holds no interest, and I can see little of value that could be added here.
A fine conclusion to the series, and one that has tempted me to possibly go back and watch the earlier movies, though I think I'll start at number 3, where the darkness apparently kicks in.
Good stuff.

4 out of 5

Wednesday 20 July 2011

Primer (2004) Dir: Shane Carruth


Strange and surreal low-fi sci-fi tension is what we have here.

The plot:
Four budding entrepreneurs are building a device in one of their garages, though the exact nature of the contraption is unclear to begin with. As the project develops, two of their number realise that they are onto something potentially huge, a scientific discovery or breakthrough that could prove game-changing for our society, but decide to keep the secret to themselves, not letting the others know of their suspicions.
Gradually, as the true nature of the device is revealed, and the pair put it to use to try to swell their bank accounts, unforeseen problems arise and, with each step they take to put things right, things spiral ever further out of control.

A deliberately obtuse summary of the plot there, as to reveal any more would be to ruin the drama.

A slow burning, thought provoking slice of low-budget edginess, that raises more questions that it answers, and never for a second treats the viewer like an imbecile, this is clever stuff. Indeed, there are points when trying to decipher the intricacies of the plot begin to make the head hurt, so this is ripe for repeat viewing, in order to shed light more fully on proceedings.
If your idea of sci-fi deals exclusively with aliens and lightsabers and space battles, avoid this like green tinged bacon, but if you want something with substance, depth and gravity, you could do a lot worse. Clocking in at just under eighty minutes, I reckon this one is worth a punt even for those in doubt.
Spellbinding movie making.

5 out of 5

Monday 18 July 2011

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) Dir: Edgar Wright


Edgar 'Spaced, Shaun of the Dead' Wright's massively divisive video game fantasy is a strange beast.

The plot:
Dork supremo Michael Cera plays Scott Pilgrim, bassist in a band called Sex Bob-Omb. Even though he is in his early twenties, he's dating a seventeen year old Chinese girl named Knives. At a party, hoping to get a break with some A and R types, he meets the girl of his dreams, Ramona, and promptly makes a complete tit of himself.
A few days later, when Scott opens his door to receive a parcel, he is surprised to find that it is Ramona herself acting as courier and plucks up the courage to ask her on a date. Reluctantly, she agrees, but omits to tell him that, in order to date her Scott must do battle to the death against her Seven Evil Exes.....

Based on a graphic novel, visually this combines the comic strip ethic with retro video game stylings: When a punch lands, captions pop up saying Kerpow, when a phone rings, it's there in lettering on the screen and, when an enemy is defeated, they are rendered into coins to be gathered.
With a soundtrack that utilises the sound effects from classic computer games, this should be every gamers fantasy but, crucially, the thing that drags this down is the teen soap opera trappings of the plot. Take away the overtly stylistic approach from Wright, and what you are left with is an extended episode of Hollyoaks, which no-one wants, surely.
This hybridisation leaves it quite a cold viewing experience as, for everything of merit, there is an element to disappoint.
Quite unlike any other film I have ever seen, for which credit is due, it's also pretty clear why this flopped so spectacularly at the box office.
A failure, then, but a noble one.

3 out of 5

Sunday 17 July 2011

Green Lantern (2011) Dir: Martin Campbell


Last seen playing a man buried alive in, erm, Buried, here Ryan Reynolds takes on one of the lesser known comic book characters, Green Lantern.
The plot:
A seemingly unstoppable force of evil known as Parallax is spreading through the universe. The Green Lantern Corps, a multi-species spanning group of Green Lantern's (!) set about trying to stop its destructive path and, in so doing, one of their most revered members is slain. The ring which gave him power leaves him and transfers to another worthy soul in the shape of Reynolds' Hal Jordan, a test pilot for the US Air Force. Propelled to the planet Oa, base of the Green Lantern Corp, governed by The Guardians, Hal learns the truth of his new identity and is himself thrust into the war against Parallax.
Any chance he might be the one to save the day?
Eh?
Though this is certainly entertaining, there are a few issues.
Parallax, the main menace in the movie, is nought but a CGI rendered monstrosity which instantly robs the movie of any genuine tension. Seriously, try and think of a movie where the main villain is a special effect that actually had any tension.
Keep thinking.
Given up?
I know I have.
Next, Hal Jordan's character is a bit of a problem. Here we have a spectacularly good looking man, with a body that looks like it was sculpted. The first time we meet him he is lying in bed next to a beautiful woman before jumping up and dashing off to his day job as a jet fighter with a rebellious streak. I mean, it's pretty hard not to hate his fucking guts.
Add on the ridiculously expositional nature of much of the dialogue - essential as the premise is a pretty complex one - and the one dimensional relationships Hal forges and what you are left with is something that looks spectacular, with the odd sprinkling of interest and humour but which generally leaves you with a sense of 'Meh.'
Not awful, just nothing of particular note, this falls way short of the comic book excellence of the original X-Men movie, Batman Begins or even this years fun and funder fest Thor.
Watch it if you are a die hard comic book fan, otherwise this can be safely ignored.

3 out of 5

Wednesday 13 July 2011

The Stendhal Syndrome (1996) Dir: Dario Argento


A particularly nasty late offering from Giallo master Dario Argento.
The plot:
Dario's daughter, Asia Argento, plays Detective Anna Manni, a homicide investigator hot on the heels of a serial killer leaving a trail of butchered, raped women across Italy.
Following the trail to Florence, Anna becomes afflicted by the mysterious Stendhal Syndrome whilst in a museum, a condition that causes disorientation and confusion when exposed to works of art. Apparently able now to step into paintings, Anna has herself been targeted by the serial killer and is led down an inexorable path towards confrontation with the cold blooded killer.
And pretty vicious it is, too.
Argento here appears to have eschewed his more artistic directorial flourishes for some proper, down and dirty, nasty gruel, the feel more akin to Lucio Fulci than his own previous works.
Another new touch is the camera following inanimate objects: pills being swallowed, bullets passing through flesh.
The plot itself is pretty standard, though pepped up with the surrealist addition of the paintings made real, and the really dark thought is that, during the prolonged, savage attack sequences, more often than not it's Argento's own daughter he is filming.
Though not quite of the same calibre as Tenebre, Phenomena or Opera, this is still a cut above most horror out there, and is a study in Argento's misogynistic view of the world.
Solid Italian horror, then.

Tuesday 12 July 2011

Paranormal Activity (2007) Dir: Oren Peli


Low budget, low-fi spook fest that really delivers.
The plot:
Micah and Katie are a regular couple, but their lives are turned upside down when nightly, spooky occurrences drive them both to the brink of sanity.
And damned effective it is, too.
Shot on a shoe string, this is minimalist horror that relies on atmosphere and the power of persuasion to instill the fear.
Nothing much happens: a door shifts here; a shadow lurks there.
Yet still this drips menace.
Effectively a two-hander, with only the brief interruption of a third person, the most impressive thing of all is the relationship between the two besieged in their own home as, truthfully, you really feel that they are a couple, she, a terrified woman, imprisoned in her own home, he, a bit of a joker, not really taking it all as seriously as he should.
As the tension builds, all eyes are drawn to the mystifyingly open bedroom door, awaiting a spectre and, even as the very brief credits roll, the image of that portal to impending terror will loom large.
No gore.
No theatrics.
No incidental music.
This is horror as real as it gets, and only loses a mark as it is not quite as intense as it's own sequel.
Jolly good, spooky fun.

4 out of 5