Waxwork II: Lost in Time (1992) Dir: Anthony Hickox

Picking up straight after the events of the original, this is an altogether more ambitious affair.
The plot:
With the Waxwork burning to the ground, Our Heroes Mark and Sarah flee in a passing taxi, not noticing the dismembered, animated hand that has decided to follow them.
Back at Sarah's, the hand kills her drunken father, causing the couple to search Sir Wilfred's (Patrick Macnee) place for clues.
With Sarah standing to be accused of her father's murder, our plucky adventurers must take Sir Wilfred's time compass, and travel back in time to try to prove her innocence.
Featuring such genre fare luminaries as Marina 'Deanna Troi' Sirtis, Bruce Campbell and David Carradine and more film references than you could shake a Wayan brother at - Aliens, Frankenstein, Dawn of the Dead and The Pit and the Pendulum all get a look in, and that's just for starters - this is far reaching in scope but, unfortunately, feels a little too chaotic, a little too unfocused.
Whilst it is impossible to get bored due to the constant switching of scenes and locations, it is also true that it is impossible to become truly engaged.
With limited use of gore, though still with Hickox's Raimi-inspired directorial flair, this is a must watch for cult movie fans, despite not quite living up to the genuine originality of the first.
Decent.

4 out of 5

Warlock: The Armageddon (1993) Dir: Anthony Hickox

Cult director Anthony 'Waxwork' Hickox serves up a silly, spooky sequel to a cult classic.
The plot:
Julian Sands returns in his role as the campest Warlock this side of Devildom, son of Satan himself and, in a quest to allow his father to walk on the face of the Earth, he must collect a series of gemstones which, once acquired, will allow him to open up a portal to Hell at the precise moment of a solar eclipse.
In his way, a family of druids and the white witch sensibilities of the delectable Paula Marshall.
And what a load of old nonsense it is, but very definitely in a good way.
Sands hams it up with some gusto as the evil one and, one for the ladies, we get a fleeting flash of his little pecker.
The special effects are trademark Hickox, with much used made of object overlay as well as some rudimentary digital effects.
With the odd moment of gore - proper physical gore, mind, not this CGI crap we have to put up with these days, and quite gruelly it is too - and a good visual style, this is entertaining schlock horror and the kind of movie which, sadly, they just don't make anymore.
Liked it quite a lot.

4 out of 5

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009) Dir: Ti West

Surprisingly entertaining sequel to Eli Roth's smash hit gorefest.
The plot:
When a shipment of disease contaminated water arrives at a school just before the school prom, you can bet your annual earnings on the fact that gory mayhem will ensue.
With a sense of black comedy coursing through it's infected veins, this is very, very entertaining, even laugh out loud funny at times.
The set up takes a little while, as we get to know the characters that are about to be savaged by a mutated strain of necrotizing fasciitis - the flesh-eating bug that came as a blessing to terror-inflicting tabloid writer's during the nineties - but it's no big deal as, unusually for high school based horror, the characters are actually likeable and humourous.
Come prom night, when the disease strikes, primarily through contaminated punch, all hell is wrought, and one can't help but be put in mind of the climax of Carrie, as well as the chaos of Argento and Bava's Demons.
High praise, indeed.
With lashings of gore, a witty script and engaging main characters, this is a top notch sequel that surprised the hell out of me.
Well worth tracking down.

4 out of 5

Saw 3D (2010) Dir: Kevin Greutert

The makers here claim this to be the last installment but, given the packed house I watched this in at 4 in the afternoon, my suspicious mind is already foreseeing an 8th outing for the deadly trap franchise.
So, what makes this different from the six movies that went before?
Well, pretty much nothing.
Same type of setup: a man is forced to face his own failings, to prove his desire for a worthwhile life through a series of dastardly and sadistic traps that, inevitably, involve some of those closest to him.
So, much of a muchness then, which was to be expected - any franchise that gets to part 7 is bound to be running out of steam - but with Saw VII comes a new gimmick: Real 3D, leading to one of the best taglines I've heard in quite a while:
"This October, the traps come alive."
But did the 3D deliver the goods?
As ever, due to my dodgy eyes it is difficult for me to judge it entirely accurately but, from what I could pick out, it was certainly not as effective as, say, Piranha earlier this summer, and James Cameron won't be losing any sleep over it. Let's face it, once you've seen one length of entrail spinning towards the screen at high speed, you've seen them all.
The makers have been considerate enough to throw in plenty of stuff for long term fans, with some nice references, some all the way back to movie number 1, and with a plot construction that leads to a reasonable conclusion, though not an especially satisfying one, here's hoping they stick to their word and leave this one well alone from now on as, frankly, the only way is downwards from here.
Average, then, but no worse than that.

3 out of 5

Saw III (2006) Dir: Darren Lynn Bousman

There is an argument to suggest that this should have been the last of the Saw movies but, inevitably, when a franchise is making such a killing at the box office, for relatively little outlay ($10 million is the figure quoted on IMDB) then the studio responsible will be keen to continue to maximise their profits.
Not than I'm cynical about the Saw franchise, mind.
Not a bit of it.
But, enough of the griping, let's talk about the movie, because it is very enjoyable fare, indeed.
Jigsaw is close to death, Amanda struggling to keep his bodily functions active, so they devise a plan. Get in a doctor to keep him alive, but booby trap her so that, should his heart stop, the collar strapped to her body will detonate, killing her instantly. See, Jigsaw wants to see out his last game, the subject playing the game known only as Jeff, a man whose son was killed several years ago by a reckless driver. Riddled with anguish and haunted by thoughts of vengeance, Jigsaw intends to give him the opportunity to either exact his vengeance, or to reach inside himself and learn about forgiveness.
Inevitably, as Jigsaw's dastardly scheme is revealed it is far more complex than at first it appears.
Keeping up the level of inventiveness of the first two, this one actually ups the ante in terms of sickness - the liquified pig drowning section is quite simply the most nauseating thing I have ever seen - as well as ensuring that the viewer is pretty clueless as to the endgame until the closing couple of minutes.
Saw is a franchise that divides opinion, where debates rage about the morality of such films, lazy labelling with the term 'torture porn' and accusations that they are derivative drivel and, frankly, there is some justification for all of those things but, call me ignortant if you must, I bloody love them.
Part 7 is due out imminently, apparently The Final Chapter.
We'll see.

4 out of 5

Critters 4 (1992) Dir: Rupert Harvey

Rupert Harvey, erstwhile producer of The Blob, Elm Street 5 and, no surprises, the original Critters movie, here takes up directing duties, delivering a neat, though somewhat schizophrenic monster movie.
The plot: Charlie, have-a-go hero from the first three Critters flicks is on the verge of destroying the final two Crite eggs when a hologram of Bounty Hunter Ug materialises and advises him to leave well alone, else face prosecution for what would effectively be genocide; the knowing extermination of an entire race.
Instead, Ug sends Charlie a transporter, which he uses, but is inadvertently sucked in, leaving him stranded in statis for five decades. When he awakens aboard a salvage vessel, he tries to warn the crew, but the silly bastards won't listen and it is a matter of grim inevitability that they will be picked off one by one by the flesh hungry Critters.
Playing it admirably straight for the most part, this fourth outing for the mouth and fur beasties is entreatingly daft, with low production values and a shaky script, though elevated somewhat by the talent, Brad Dourif in particular; a firm favourite at Smell the Cult HQ.
Not quite a horror, not really playing up the sci-fi, with a notable lack of any genuine bloodshed or nastiness, I suspect this is one example of a budget getting in the way of a director's vision.
Entertaining enough, though.

4 out of 5

Retro Puppet Master (1999) Dir: David DeCoteau

Seventh in the Puppet Master franchise, this is a prequel and is perhaps the most unusual, featuring something of a romantic feel throughout, as well as a noticeable lack of nastiness on the part of the tiny ones.
The plot: Set during the Nazi occupation of Europe, Puppet Master extraordinaire Andre Toulon is holed up in a Swiss hotel, and recounts to his beloved puppets the tale of a woman he loved greatly, as well as how he was taught the secret to animate his listeners by a mysterious Egyptian sorcerer, Afzel, himself on the run from wrathful Egyptian God Sutekh, furious that Afzel has stolen the gift of life.
As you can imagine, it's pretty fanciful stuff, but it is not without its charm.
Greg Sestero is a likeable enough young version of Andre Toulon and Jack Donner makes for a plausible sorcerer, if that statement isn't an oxymoron!
It drags its heels, however, and the lack of out and out viciousness is a tad disappointing.
Still, I've got a bit of a soft spot for all things Full Moon (the Production Company) and, even though it's clear Charles Band (creator of the franchise, and the man behind the overall story arc) has only ever had one idea, it's a decent enough one, that usually keeps me watching.
A Puppet Master movie you can watch with Grandma?
You bet her withered ass.

3 out of 5

New Nightmare (1994) Dir: We Craven

The 7th in the Nightmare series was released to fairly mixed reviews, some hailing it a post-modern horror classic, others incapable of seeing through their genre jaded prejudices and declaring it derivative and wholly unoriginal.
New Nightmare is many things, but unoriginal it ain't.
The plot: Heather Langenkamp plays herself, a moderately successful actress, best known for playing the part of Nancy in parts 1 & 3 of the series.
Robert Englund is also a chief protaganmist, again playing himself, the man behind the Freddy mask.
With Wes Craven suddenly struck by a new idea for a Nightmare movie, he has taken to writing again, and is eager that both Heather and Robert are a part of the movie.
When strange events begin to occur, including some pretty grisly killings, Heather begins to become convinced that there is more to what is happening in Craven's imagination than simply penning a new movie, begins to believe, in fact, that Freddy is trying to break through from the world of fiction into the real world, to hunt down and kill all those involved in the original movie way back in 1984.
See, I told you it was pretty original.
As well as an elevation in storytelling craft, the direction is first rate as are the performances (though Langenkamp still can't act for shit).
Craven, in revisiting his most famous horror creation, manages to demonstrate that Freddy, far from the comic book, wise-cracking anti-hero that he became in the later Nightmare movies is in fact a frightening, dread-inspiring creature more than capable of putting the willies up an audience.
Clever, unpredictable and, at times, pretty intense, this is a successful reinvention.

4 out of 5

Predators (2010) Dir: Nimród Antal

I must confess, I was desperately excited about this movie, as evidenced by my first day of release viewing, something I can rarely be bothered to do, though my anticipation was tempered somewhat by the knowledge that, usually, I have a preference for old over new.
So, would the updating be an effective one?
Oh yes!
The plot: The movie opens in a quite dramatic fashion, with Our Hero Royce (the seemingly omnipresent Adrien Brody, if the trailers that ran before this movie are anything to go by) falling through the sky at great speed, a parachute strapped to his back, but the bloody thing won't open. Inevitably, he survives the fall, and meets up with several others who have befallen a similar fate, the last thing they remember a flash of light, then nothing, before awakening in freefall.
It soon transpires that the motley collection of dubious specimens have been deliberately selected for their specialist skills: a Yakuza, a black ops. mercenary, a guerrilla fighter...you get the picture, though amongst their number, a doctor, who doesn't quite seem to fit the mould.
Puzzled as to what has happened, it's not long before we are right in the action, a pack of alienoid dogs attacking the group, but worse is to follow. Realising that they are not on Earth, but instead on a strange, multi-mooned jungle planet, the band of disreputables soon figure out their purpose for being there: to be hunted.
More action packed than the original, though perhaps lacking a little in terms of atmosphere, there are some genuine standout moments:
The initial alien dog attack; the first glimpses of The Predators; Morpheus's sudden appearance, all bedecked in full on Predator suit, though his presence is more of a cameo, despite his high billing on the posters; the Yakuza guy's Samurai sword fight with a solitary Predator in a moonlit field of knee high grass.
Oh, and don't be fooled as I was. Rodriguez did not direct this movie, simply produced it, camera duties being handled by the marvellously monikered Nimród Antal, the man behind the lens for the pretty decent 2007 motel horror yarn Vacancy.
With The Predator's themselves fleshed out a little more than in either of the previous movies, I was more than a little impressed by this modern slice of sci-fi horror.
Liked it a lot.

4 out of 5.

[Rec] 2 (2010) Dir: Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza

Rip roaring sequel to the Spanish exercise in intensity that was [Rec]. Starting immediately after the events of the first movie, here we follow two groups of people, one for the first half of the movie, the other for most of the second, before their lives are inextricably drawn together in a shower of blood and viscera.
Group 1: A small troop of soldiers, armed to the teeth, sent in to find out what happened to the first group sent in during the first film, led by a man who claims to be from the Health Authority, but may not be all that he seems.
Group 2: Three youngsters with a camcorder who, being exuberant, inquisitive sorts, follow a fireman into the infected building by an alternate route, before promptly being sealed in by the police.
Just what is happening to the infected people, and where did the infection come from?
And what use will crucifixes be against the raving dead?
As a direct continuation, this is a real winner - I've always had a soft spot for horror sequels that pick up the action in the immediate aftermath of what went before.
The camera work is exceptional, with magnificent use made of POV shots so that, at times, as the soldiers lead gun first, you really feel as if you are right in there, like all of the best First Person Shooter games.
Whilst I've read complaint that the build up is not as effective as the original, as almost immediately we are plunged in, fear factor set to ten, I think that's missing the point. This is an exercise in endurance, testing the viewers boundaries, seeing how much screaming and feral munching of teeth we can tolerate before fleeing the cinema in actual physical pain.
With a great twist thrown in that I won't even allude to here, as the origins of the infection are drawn out, this is a killer horror movie that only the bravest souls should attempt.
Can't recommend it enough.

5 out of 5