Brazil (1985) Dir: Terry Gilliam

Terry Gilliam's most revered movie.

The plot:
A low-level worker, Sam Lowry, is assigned to correct a bureaucratic error caused when an errant fly becomes caught up in the mechanisms of a printer, causing an innocent man to be incarcerated.
Lowry, in his efforts to correct the mistake, becomes ever more entangled in a world of red tape and bureaucracy that, ultimately, may cost him his very sanity.

Mixing fantasy with arch black comedy, Gilliam’s style is one that is not for every palate.
Set in a dystopian, grim vision of the world, this bears many of the hallmarks of Michael Radford’s interpretation of Orwell’s 1984, though here the tone is more slapstick, less bleak. With a heritage that encompasses the paranoid grime of 1970’s sci-fi, as well as the obvious link to the farcical humour of Monty Python, it’s an odd mix and, frankly, not one that works for me.
Gilliam, though clearly a proper film-maker – he has a vision all his own, which he effectively renders on screen and absolutely refuses to compromise with a view to gaining mainstream acceptance, two facets that must be applauded – at the same time manages to confuse and alienate many that otherwise consider themselves ‘cult’ aficionados.
With a veritable clutch of powerhouse British acting talent among the assembled participants – Jonathan Pryce, Ian Holm, Bob Hoskins, Michael Palin and Jim Broadbent, as well as the very much Italian American Robert De Niro – there is no denying the credibility of this work, though I can’t for one second say I enjoyed it.
A cult classic, in every conceivable sense of the phrase, this is one that didn’t float the boat here at Smell the Cult HQ, though I am still very, very glad it exists.

2 out of 5

Cronos (1993) Dir: Guillermo del Toro

Guillermo del Toro's breakthrough movie is a strange, quietly disturbing affair. The plot: Almost 500 hundred years ago, an alchemist devised a small piece of machinery that promised the gift of eternal life.
In present times (well, 1997) the Cronos device unwittingly falls into the hands of an ageing antiques dealer, Mr. Gris. Playing a board game with his young grand-daughter, suddenly the table is over-run with cockroaches, the source of which a winged, angelic statue Breaking the statue open, Mr. Gris discovers the device, a beautiful and ornate creation, scarab-like in shape and, clutching it in his hand, suddenly the thing sprouts legs, the legs snapping into place against his hand, piercing the flesh. Slowly, a thin, nozzle-like protuberance extends from the head end of the device, this too piercing his flesh. Meanwhile, another seeks the device, a man who will stop at nothing to get his hands on it, for he too seeks the promise of eternal life and, with Ron Perlman acting as his muscle, there's every chance he'll get it, too.
Massively inventive, this shrieks cult classic with almost every frame.
It's sinister, too, the lighting of each scene evocative and disturbing, lending the viewer the need to peer into the shadows that drape the corners of the screen throughout, just in case something truly horrible lurks there.
Imaginative and visually impressive, this is a fine movie indeed.

4 out of 5

Westworld (1973) Dir: Michael Crichton

With some films, the concept is far better than the execution and, to a certain extent, this is true of Westworld.
The plot: In the future, a theme park named Delos is divided into three distinct areas; Roman World, Medieval World and Western World - think The Crystal Maze but without the maniacal bald man.....oh....hang on a second.... - each area populated by incredibly life-like robots put in place to create the most realistic, most immersive experience for the well-heeled visitors to the park.
In Medieval World, you can practice your sword fighting, get down to some sexy time with a buxom wench or perhaps indulge in a spot of jousting, all in the certain knowledge that "Nothing can go wrong." Similarly, in Roman World, you can indulge your every debauched desire and in Western World, you can play the part of a bandit, a cowboy, a sheriff.
As the scientists that control the park watch on, every aspect of the robots' behaviour is monitored to ensure the participant's safety until, one day, inevitably, things go horribly wrong, leaving our two main characters trapped in Western World, alone, and stalked by a terrifying gunslinging robot that just happens to look exactly like Yul Brynner.
Yikes!!!
Sounds great, right?
And it is, mainly, once the nightmare scenario kicks in.
The flaws come near the start of the movie, as writer / director Michael 'Jurassic Park' Crichton (he seems to like 'When Theme Parks Attack' concepts) delves perilously close to 'wacky' for the comfort of most sentient beings.
Zany antics aside, once the nastiness kicks in, this is a gripping, massively inventive, genre defying sci-fi yarn that is as tense and gripping as they come.
And any man who claims to watch Brynner without feeling a slight stirring of envy - and perhaps a little more than that - has more fortitude of character than I.
A cult classic, and it's clear to see why, this is well worth sticking with past the vaguely annoying opening thirty minutes or so.
Good stuff.

4 out of 5

Audition (1999 aka Ôdishon) Dir: Takashi Miike

If there is a better J-Horror movie out there, I am yet to see it.
The plot: When a lonely widower decides it is time to find a new wife, a film maker friend offers to help. Reluctant to begin with, slowly he comes around to the idea and an audition is arranged of thirty potential wives, for a movie that will never be made, though the ladies are unaware of this. Flicking through the photographs of the women, the man is captivated when he sees the picture of Asami. Young, attractive, just his type, he is equally impressed by her audition and invites her out for dinner.
Shy, demure, subservient, she is just what he is after.
But Asami has a dark secret; a penchant for slicing up would be suitors, as punishment for the crimes of an abusive uncle when she was just a girl. Stunning,stunning stuff, this is seat of the pants scary when it kicks in.
The set up is magnificent, as the first two thirds of the movie is all about the characters, drawing you in, tantalising you, making you, you know....care.
Takashi Miike is swiftly becoming a firm favourite director at Smell the Cult, and here he offers up an intelligent, shocking, thoughtful, deeply grisly horror yarn that the aspiring torture porn directors would do well to set as a benchmark.
One of the finest horror movies of all time, this is a must see.

5 out of 5

The Gate (1987) Dir: Tibor Takács

Something of a cult classic, this one, and a firm favourite in the Smell the Cult household.
The plot: Two young lads accidentally open up a portal to the underworld and awaken centuries old demons by reciting the words from a heavy metal album. The daft sods.
That's your lot in terms of story, but this is bloody entertaining stuff.
The special effects, whilst a little clunky, are great to watch, the little critters that pour from the portal looking like a cross between the Ghoulies from, erm, Ghoulies and Lotney 'Sloth' Fratelli from The Goonies, animated via the stop-motion technique, the overlay process not particularly good so it is clear as day that they are not actually there in the house, the young actors having to scream and wail and holler to an empty room.
They probably felt a bit silly.
They probably felt a bit silly and just did it for the money, anyway, not for the love, not for the craft, the grasping little pricks.
With a decent, 80's synth soundtrack, a fake 80's thrash track from an album called The Dark Book, and more fashion faux pas' than you can shake a pair of fluorescent leggings at, this is campy, retro, feel good horror. No-one actually gets hurt, no-one is ever likely to die and, even when the odd bit of badness does occur, you know that it will all be set right by the end of the movie.
With only one real moment of gruel, when our hero Glen sticks his hand through his fake father's face, and said face begins to peel off, this is certainly not one that will have you leaving the lights on at night.
Nevertheless, it's a fun ride, and far superior to most modern horror.

4 out of 5

The Host (2006) Dir: Joon-ho Bong

I liked this, but I so wanted to love it.
On a warm, pleasant day down by the Han River in South Korea's capital, Seoul, there are people aplenty. Students relaxing by the water, couples walking hand in hand, just enjoying each others company. One family run business takes advantage of its strategic location, selling chocolate bars, cold drinks and simple meals to the milling masses. The father who runs the place seems to do all of the graft, his lazy, layabout son constantly falling asleep behind the counter, giving youngsters the opportunity to steal their goods. After a customer complains that their squid does not have enough tentacles (!) the younger of the two goes to hand them a replacement when something strange is seen hanging beneath the bridge. All eyes are drawn when, suddenly, it drops from the bridge, plunging into the water beneath. As the crowd gathers, something is seen approaching the shore, a dark shape beneath the surface that most seem to believe is a dolphin, increasing the excitement. As it reaches the riverbank, it's no fucking dolphin , instead an enormous-toothed beast with powerful legs for running and a gaping jaw that proceeds to go on the rampage, snapping at anything that moves.
Our young hero bravely tries to help those running but he too must flee and is horrified when he spies the monstrosity approaching his own daughter. As he tries to lure the thing away it ignores him, snatching her up in its mouth before plunging back into the river and away. Presumed dead, the father receives a call from his daughter (I apologise for the lack of identification but I'm no good with Korean names. Call me a daft old racist if you must) who informs him that she is in a sewer somewhere, though in a pit from which there is no escape.
So begins the hunt to find her before the creature devours her once and for all.
It's nonsense.
Of course it is, but well realised and fairly shocking nonsense at that.
The inspiration behind Cloverfield, apparently, the comparisons are limited once you get past the 'behemoth emerges from the water' angle as, culturally, the two movies are poles apart. Here, we see much more of the monster and, crucially, we get to know the characters involved much more intimately.
Being an Asian movie, there are issues for a Western viewer, particularly when it comes to the moments of humour - the scene where the family are grieving in an OTT manner is particularly bizarre - as, for the most part, humour is confined to one part of the world for a reason: No-one else finds it funny.
The monster itself is very well realised, albeit obviously CGI'd though, oddly, here it is not an issue, despite my constant gripings about the over-use of computer effects these days.
A schizophrenic movie, then, with moments to drop the jaw and moments to leave you scratching your head wondering just what the hell is going on, but never less than entertaining and, at times, spellbinding.
Check it out (subtitled preferably, not dubbed, you unspeakable droogs).

4 out of 5

New Nightmare (1994) Dir: We Craven

The 7th in the Nightmare series was released to fairly mixed reviews, some hailing it a post-modern horror classic, others incapable of seeing through their genre jaded prejudices and declaring it derivative and wholly unoriginal.
New Nightmare is many things, but unoriginal it ain't.
The plot: Heather Langenkamp plays herself, a moderately successful actress, best known for playing the part of Nancy in parts 1 & 3 of the series.
Robert Englund is also a chief protaganmist, again playing himself, the man behind the Freddy mask.
With Wes Craven suddenly struck by a new idea for a Nightmare movie, he has taken to writing again, and is eager that both Heather and Robert are a part of the movie.
When strange events begin to occur, including some pretty grisly killings, Heather begins to become convinced that there is more to what is happening in Craven's imagination than simply penning a new movie, begins to believe, in fact, that Freddy is trying to break through from the world of fiction into the real world, to hunt down and kill all those involved in the original movie way back in 1984.
See, I told you it was pretty original.
As well as an elevation in storytelling craft, the direction is first rate as are the performances (though Langenkamp still can't act for shit).
Craven, in revisiting his most famous horror creation, manages to demonstrate that Freddy, far from the comic book, wise-cracking anti-hero that he became in the later Nightmare movies is in fact a frightening, dread-inspiring creature more than capable of putting the willies up an audience.
Clever, unpredictable and, at times, pretty intense, this is a successful reinvention.

4 out of 5

Sweeney! (1977) Dir: David Wickes

Cult British police show classic The Sweeney spawned two spin off movies, the first of which – Sweeney! – by far the better of the pair.
The plot: A politician, known for an occasional dalliance with ladies of vice, is threatened with ruination when a prostitute he has been 'visiting' is found dead in his hotel suite. Rather than face up to his misdemeanours, he instead chooses to hide his involvement. All seems well, until a friend of the dead woman asks hard smoking, hard drinking, hard punching Detective Regan to investigate and, when he starts asking the right questions to the wrong people, a plan is set in motion to discredit him. Suspended from The Flying Squad on a drink driving charge that was only partially erroneous – he had been drinking though, to ensure a conviction, he was pulled over by a couple of crooked police sorts, kidnapped and forced to swallow an entire bottle of spirits – Regan must go it alone to uncover the truth, with even his ever faithful partner Carter reluctant to get involved.
Gritty is a word often batted about when The Sweeney is mentioned and, in this case, it is absolutely applicable.
Locations are chosen for their levels of dereliction and the dialogue is stripped to the bone, with barely a sentence passing by without an expletive or three offered, the conversations ribald and profane, though never without good reason. Inevitably, some of the language would be deemed inappropriate in this day and age, specifically in terms of attitudes towards race and women but, some allowance must be made given the context.
I’m not saying it’s OK, I’m just saying it’s understandable given the age of the movie and the type of characters portrayed.
Look, I said it’s not OK.
Heh!
What the hell are you doing? Why are you handcuffing me? Oh Christ, it’s the moral acceptability police come to take me away....and they're wearing Kevlar vests with the word OUTRAGED writ large across their chests.
With lashings of violence, though sporadic, and a crackling atmosphere, this is one TV to movie spin off that managed to make the transition without losing too much credibility.
Good stuff.

4 out of 5

Reservoir Dogs (199) Dir: Quentin Tarantino

There are films and then there are great films.
Reservoir Dogs, a movie that came as a real wake up call to the stagnating crime thriller genre, as taut a movie as it is possible to conceive is as effective and gripping now as the day it first baited the Daily Mail and it's ilk upon release.
In case you have been trapped in an alternate dimension for the past 18 years, here's the plot:
A small group of criminals are hired by Joe Cabot, an old timer crook and his son Nice Guy Eddie to pull a heist on a diamond merchant. The plan is simple. Two on crowd control, one watching the door, two snatching the jewels. The gang are known only by their codenames, all colours. Things turn ugly when Mr. Blonde starts a shooting spree in the store, the gang forced to flee and head to their rendezvous point, an abandoned warehouse, at least those who survived the hail of bullets from the cops who seemed to be on the scene surprisingly quickly.
In the warehouse, those that remain try to piece together what really happened, as well as determine who ratted them out, whilst the whole time Mr. Orange is bleeding to death from a gun shot wound to the gut.
By turns stomach churning and laugh out loud funny - though only those with a taste for the macabre need apply - the combination of Tarantino's razor sharp scripting and seat of the pants direction draws you in, the tension ratcheted up by degrees until the final calamitous moments, showing a mastery of the directorial art that belied his status as a debutante behind the lens.
The lead actors give remarkably emotional and powerful performances, particularly Tim Roth and Harvey Kietel though, perhaps, the star turn here is Michael Madsen as the psychopathic Blonde.
In addition, Tarantino's selection of music is just about flawless, every tune chosen to add an extra dynamic to the scenes as they unfold and, notoriously, Wes 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' Craven is alleged to have left the cinema in disgust during the infamous 'ear-lop' scene as he felt the use of music was actually offensive, somehow downplaying the gravity of the events on screen.
Either that or he was simply green with envy that many moons had elapsed since last he had managed to sicken the audience so.
Intelligent, harrowing and genuinely nerve shredding, this is simply a masterpiece.

The Howling (1981) Dir: Joe Dante

Highly regarded cult classic that doesn’t really stand up to scrutiny.
Joe 'Gremlins' Dante's stab at a werewolf movie is a confusing affair. In every regard, this should work.
It's smart: smarter than your average horror movie, and that's a fact. 12 out of every 9 psychologists confirm it.
The effects are great.
Dated?
Yes but, unless you are the kind of slack-jawed dimwit who believes that 'there wor any gud filums mayd befour ninekeen nineky free' that shouldn't be an issue as, you know, special effects were possible before the advent of CG fucking I.
There's a decent line-up of cult luminaries, including Dee 'Critters' Wallace, Patrick 'Avengers' Macnee and Robert 'Voyager' Picardo.
The story is above par, too. Yet, somehow.....some....how, it doesn't hang together particularly well, and you find your mind wandering off, thinking about other things.
How many olives can you fit into your mouth in one go?
If Macnee were wheelchair bound, would he have still worn a bowler hat in The Avengers?
All sorts of things that are nothing to do with the movie.
I've already touched on them, but another mention must go to the special effects, which are truly outstanding, and acted as precursor to the Oscar winning effects from An American Werewolf in London later that same year. The effects alone elevated this by one skull rating, else this would have hit a 2 for me.
I know, I know, fellow cultists, I am an unmentionable arse-sheriff, but there it is.
Disappointingly average horror fodder, then, despite the promise of its component parts.