Bad Taste (1987) Dir: Peter Jackson

Peter Jackson is now world renowned as the Oscar winning director of The Lord of the Rings trilogy but, way before his rise to multiplex filling prominence, he was just a splatter fiend from NZ.
The plot:
Somewhere in rural New Zealand, an entire town, population around 75, has disappeared. A team of pretty inept investigators are on scene and discover that the citizens have been chopped up and boxed up by some form of intergalactic alien race to replenish their own version of MacDonald's, and only they can stop the menace from spreading.
Very silly, very gory and quite, quite nasty, this is gonzo, guerrilla film-making with bags of energy.
Jackson himself stars as the clumsy Derek who foolishly falls off a cliff whilst battling some alien nasties, and smashes his skull open, spending the rest of the movie having to pop bits of his own brain back in to keep him functioning properly.
With lashings of gore, and I mean really, really icky gore, this is a genuine cult classic that Jackson would go on to better with 1992's Braindead.
An amateur New Zealand gore movie that manages to be more engaging than most Hollywood horror?
Now there's a surprise.....

4 out of 5

The Deadly Spawn (1983) Dir: Douglas McKeown

Set your gore radar to high alert, and settle in for a genuine feast for the senses.
The plot:
In rural America, a meteor crashes to Earth. Two young folk out camping go to investigate, and are promptly eaten alive by flesh eating beasties. Cut to a nearby town, and we meet a group of friends. We have lots of establishing scenes were we get to know them and, you know, in some ways, get to like them. All except the pompous prick in the glasses who keeps spouting on about science.
Heh, shut it, speccie, no-one's interested.
Now, little do this gang of pals know that, lurking in the basement are the creatures that crawled from the meteor....and they're breeding!
Real low budget fare, this, and riotously good fun too.
Though the pace is punishingly slow at times, primarily due to the fact that there really isn't enough story here to justify even the 78 minute run time, this matters not one jot as, interspersed amongst the drawn out scenes are reasonably lengthy spurts - and I do mean spurts - of out and out gore.
Little gribbly aliens bore into people's body cavities, others emerge from poor unfortunates midriffs midway through chewing on their intestines and, in one spectacular moment of nastiness, two worm like entities burrow out from inside someones skull, using his eye sockets as a handy exit.
The monster design is magnificent, an over the top vision of all of hell's demons, the creatures effectively a gaping jaw atop a squirming, slime-oozing torso, maws opening to reveal row upon row of Great White style teeth.
The pace will put some off, which is a shame, but for those that can endure and wait for the gore, you're in for a good time.

4 out of 5

God Told Me To (1976) Dir: Larry Cohen

Master of the exploitation movie, Larry 'It's Alive,' 'The Stuff,' 'Q: The Winged Serpent' Cohen here takes us on a nightmarish journey towards the Apocalypse.
The plot: A New York Detective, Peter Nicholas, attempts to talk down a sniper from the rooftop of a building. When Nicholas asks him why he wanted to shoot people, the sniper informs him that "God Told Him To," just before plunging headlong off the building to his death.
So begins a sequence of similar incidents that Nicholas investigates, each time the culprit claiming that "God Told Them To.
Drawn inexorably towards a shocking conclusion, is Detective Nicholas somehow involved?
And who is the strange, blond man, shining with angelic light that people keep witnessing?
It's odd, that's for sure, straddling the line between several genres.
There's a clear thriller influence, as well as horror and a healthy dose of theology thrown in, too.
The acting, for the type of movie, is more than acceptable and, being penned by Cohen, the script is way above the standard you would expect.
With a nice line in irreverence, and a splendidly seedy, grainy feel to the film stock used, this is a rock solid 70's exploitation classic that even the mighty Christopher Nolan invoked for the St. Patrick's Day massacre in The Dark Knight.
A genuine cult classic.

4 out of 5

Fortress (1992) Dir: Stuart Gordon

Let me confess something right off the bat: I'm a massive Stuart Gordon fanboy and, though I haven't seen everything he's made quite yet, I've seen most and am yet to be disappointed.
OK, that's out of the way, so let's get down to some serious reviewing here: Fortress is fucking brilliant.
I could end it there, sign off with that single, definitive statement and feel reasonably content, but I feel the need to justify myself somewhat as, having read other reviews of this movie, it seems I am in the minority.
So, instead of writing a usual review, I'm just going to list the reasons Fortress is fucking brilliant.
Because it is.
Fortress is fucking brilliant.
Simple.
And here's why:

1 - It feels just like Total Recall.
2 - Christof Camembert is at his mumbling best
3 - There's gore
4 - There's women in prison
5 - There are plenty of dodgy, 80's-tastic special effects, even though this was 3 years into the next decade
6 - It's directed by Stuart 'Re-Animator,' 'From beyond,' 'Stuck,' 'Dagon' Gordon.
7 - There is a torture device called an Intestinator.
8 - Robocop's Clarence Boddicker is the main villain.
9 - The cybernetic sentries are utterly useless.
10 - It's directed by Stuart Gordon. Again, yes, but worth repeating.
11 - Oh yeah. Fortress is fucking brilliant.

5 out of 5

D.A.R.Y.L. (1985) Dir: Simon Wincer

Well now, here we have that rarest of creatures: a warm-hearted family movie that doesn’t make you want to stab out your own liver just to cease the abundant production of bile.
The plot: A young boy is discovered wandering with no memory as to his identity. He can remember basic things like speech and blinking and how to walk around without falling over, but details of his past life are none-existent. Taken into foster care it soon becomes apparent that Daryl is not like ordinary boys. He isn't rude, doesn't swear and, by the Christ's, he's really good at playing Pole Position and baseball.
One day, Daryl's real parents show up, ostensibly to take him home but, when they actually take him to The Pentagon, it soon transpires that D.A.R.Y.L. is not just different to other boys,....he's not even human!!! A military experiment in artificial intelligence now deemed awry, the military decide to do away with the project, but Daryl has other plans and, before you know it, he's stolen a Stealth Bomber and is cruising back home at Mach 2.25......
Whilst the potential for schmaltz is pretty damned high, the director does a decent job of keeping the vomit factor turned down low. The interplay between the lead character and his young friend is deftly handled, with genuine warmth, and there's a nice line in humour, too. Not the lighting your farts on fire, sticking your dick into an apple pie variety that passes for comedy these days but, you know, proper situational mirth.
Made in '85, and looking every day of its age, this is engaging sci-fi lite that has real charm and is certainly a movie for all the family. Heck, this wouldn't even offend Great Grandma Mosefus, and she's such a puritan she won't even look at a ripened pear for fear it may provoke lustful thoughts. S
o, throw away all your grisly horror, tear up your Stephen King books, put down that DVD copy of Jenna Haze Does the 49ers, and settle back for a pleasantly retro movie with a real nostalgic kick.
Liked it.

3 out of 5

Cronos (1993) Dir: Guillermo del Toro

Guillermo del Toro's breakthrough movie is a strange, quietly disturbing affair. The plot: Almost 500 hundred years ago, an alchemist devised a small piece of machinery that promised the gift of eternal life.
In present times (well, 1997) the Cronos device unwittingly falls into the hands of an ageing antiques dealer, Mr. Gris. Playing a board game with his young grand-daughter, suddenly the table is over-run with cockroaches, the source of which a winged, angelic statue Breaking the statue open, Mr. Gris discovers the device, a beautiful and ornate creation, scarab-like in shape and, clutching it in his hand, suddenly the thing sprouts legs, the legs snapping into place against his hand, piercing the flesh. Slowly, a thin, nozzle-like protuberance extends from the head end of the device, this too piercing his flesh. Meanwhile, another seeks the device, a man who will stop at nothing to get his hands on it, for he too seeks the promise of eternal life and, with Ron Perlman acting as his muscle, there's every chance he'll get it, too.
Massively inventive, this shrieks cult classic with almost every frame.
It's sinister, too, the lighting of each scene evocative and disturbing, lending the viewer the need to peer into the shadows that drape the corners of the screen throughout, just in case something truly horrible lurks there.
Imaginative and visually impressive, this is a fine movie indeed.

4 out of 5

Stuck (2007) Dir: Stuart Gordon

Got to tell you, I just love Stuart Gordon.
If he'd let me, I'd drizzle him in olive oil, slap him in a frying pan and wolf him down with chorizo.
But he won’t
Whether it's schlock horror gore offerings like Re-Animator or From Beyond or his sci-fi silliness such as Fortress or Robot Jox for me, the man can do no wrong.
Stuck, a neat little exploitation piece that is as devious as it is disturbing, this is both genre-bending and fantastically original.
The plot: After a drink and drug-laced party, a young woman foolishly decides to drive home. Mid-journey, messing with her mobile phone, pissed as a judge on Easter Monday, she hits a man, recently forced onto the street after eviction from his squalid flat. The man strikes the bonnet of the car but, instead of rolling off, plunges headlong through the windscreen, pinned in place by the wipers that are now jabbed firmly into the meat of his matter.
With her hit and run victim suspended, half in and half out of her car, the drunkard must flee for home, then devise a means of ridding herself of her 'problem.'
Morbidly humorous right from the get go, this has a black, black heart, but also a natural wit that carries you through the nonsensical nature of what is actually happening on screen.
Though light on genuine gore, the odd moment of nastiness is graphic enough to make you squirm just a little, and the rapid-fire run time gives this the feel of a genuine cult movie.
Vicious, twisted and something of a morality tale in the end, this is a winner down at Smell the Cult HQ.

4 out of 5

Westworld (1973) Dir: Michael Crichton

With some films, the concept is far better than the execution and, to a certain extent, this is true of Westworld.
The plot: In the future, a theme park named Delos is divided into three distinct areas; Roman World, Medieval World and Western World - think The Crystal Maze but without the maniacal bald man.....oh....hang on a second.... - each area populated by incredibly life-like robots put in place to create the most realistic, most immersive experience for the well-heeled visitors to the park.
In Medieval World, you can practice your sword fighting, get down to some sexy time with a buxom wench or perhaps indulge in a spot of jousting, all in the certain knowledge that "Nothing can go wrong." Similarly, in Roman World, you can indulge your every debauched desire and in Western World, you can play the part of a bandit, a cowboy, a sheriff.
As the scientists that control the park watch on, every aspect of the robots' behaviour is monitored to ensure the participant's safety until, one day, inevitably, things go horribly wrong, leaving our two main characters trapped in Western World, alone, and stalked by a terrifying gunslinging robot that just happens to look exactly like Yul Brynner.
Yikes!!!
Sounds great, right?
And it is, mainly, once the nightmare scenario kicks in.
The flaws come near the start of the movie, as writer / director Michael 'Jurassic Park' Crichton (he seems to like 'When Theme Parks Attack' concepts) delves perilously close to 'wacky' for the comfort of most sentient beings.
Zany antics aside, once the nastiness kicks in, this is a gripping, massively inventive, genre defying sci-fi yarn that is as tense and gripping as they come.
And any man who claims to watch Brynner without feeling a slight stirring of envy - and perhaps a little more than that - has more fortitude of character than I.
A cult classic, and it's clear to see why, this is well worth sticking with past the vaguely annoying opening thirty minutes or so.
Good stuff.

4 out of 5

Audition (1999 aka Ôdishon) Dir: Takashi Miike

If there is a better J-Horror movie out there, I am yet to see it.
The plot: When a lonely widower decides it is time to find a new wife, a film maker friend offers to help. Reluctant to begin with, slowly he comes around to the idea and an audition is arranged of thirty potential wives, for a movie that will never be made, though the ladies are unaware of this. Flicking through the photographs of the women, the man is captivated when he sees the picture of Asami. Young, attractive, just his type, he is equally impressed by her audition and invites her out for dinner.
Shy, demure, subservient, she is just what he is after.
But Asami has a dark secret; a penchant for slicing up would be suitors, as punishment for the crimes of an abusive uncle when she was just a girl. Stunning,stunning stuff, this is seat of the pants scary when it kicks in.
The set up is magnificent, as the first two thirds of the movie is all about the characters, drawing you in, tantalising you, making you, you know....care.
Takashi Miike is swiftly becoming a firm favourite director at Smell the Cult, and here he offers up an intelligent, shocking, thoughtful, deeply grisly horror yarn that the aspiring torture porn directors would do well to set as a benchmark.
One of the finest horror movies of all time, this is a must see.

5 out of 5

The Wizard of Gore (1970) Dir: Herschell Gordon Lewis

Herschell Gordon Lewis' lurid and eccentric splatter-fest is a riot of colour and ghastliness and, whilst not perfect, it is a damn fun ride for its duration.
Meet Montag the Magnificent, illusionist extraordinaire, a man with a live performance that will boggle the mind. Every night, before an enraptured crowd, he selects a female volunteer from the audience and performs a cruel and sadistic mutilation of her body, be it swords rammed down the throat, heavy machinery used to carve open her midriff, or a chainsaw to the abdomen to saw her completely in half. The audience watch on, horrified, as Montag plays with the guts and the gristle, brandishing it in their direction so there can be no doubt that the deed has been done before, sensationally, the woman is returned to normal and retakes her seat.
Sadly for the victim, however, there is not long left to live as, hours after each performance, the same women are found mutilated in the exact way enacted on stage.
Is Montag the murderer?
It is all an illusion?
Is any of it happening at all?
As trippy as they come, this is quintessential exploitation cinema, with lashings of gore.
For the most part, what takes place makes very little sense, even within individual scenes as, one minute, Montag is covered in blood and laughing dementedly at a shrieking audience, the next the audience are sitting quietly as if nothing untoward is occurring.
One minute, two women are on stage with swords sticking out of their mouths, the next, all on stage is calm.
This deliberately bewildering style simply serves to add to the feel, challenging the audience constantly:
Is this real?
Is THIS real?
What about this?
Christ, if you think Inception is a headfuck, check this bad boy out, it will send your mind reeling.
With one of the most demented denouements I have ever seen, this just shrieks 'cult classic' with every frame, and is one that every 'genre' fan should most definitely check out.
Thoroughly enjoyable stuff.

4 out of 5

The Gate (1987) Dir: Tibor Takács

Something of a cult classic, this one, and a firm favourite in the Smell the Cult household.
The plot: Two young lads accidentally open up a portal to the underworld and awaken centuries old demons by reciting the words from a heavy metal album. The daft sods.
That's your lot in terms of story, but this is bloody entertaining stuff.
The special effects, whilst a little clunky, are great to watch, the little critters that pour from the portal looking like a cross between the Ghoulies from, erm, Ghoulies and Lotney 'Sloth' Fratelli from The Goonies, animated via the stop-motion technique, the overlay process not particularly good so it is clear as day that they are not actually there in the house, the young actors having to scream and wail and holler to an empty room.
They probably felt a bit silly.
They probably felt a bit silly and just did it for the money, anyway, not for the love, not for the craft, the grasping little pricks.
With a decent, 80's synth soundtrack, a fake 80's thrash track from an album called The Dark Book, and more fashion faux pas' than you can shake a pair of fluorescent leggings at, this is campy, retro, feel good horror. No-one actually gets hurt, no-one is ever likely to die and, even when the odd bit of badness does occur, you know that it will all be set right by the end of the movie.
With only one real moment of gruel, when our hero Glen sticks his hand through his fake father's face, and said face begins to peel off, this is certainly not one that will have you leaving the lights on at night.
Nevertheless, it's a fun ride, and far superior to most modern horror.

4 out of 5

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) Dir: Fran Rubel Kuzui

There are certain movies and TV shows that define era's, specifically when you are something of a genre geek, happy to lap up any old nonsense just so long as there is a spaceship, a zombie, an oversized tentacle or, perish the thought, a vampire involved.
Star Wars, Close Encounters, Poltergeist, Predator, The X Files, Battlestar Galactica.
You get the idea.
The TV series that spawned from this full scale movie was a classic in its own right. True enough, the first three seasons are head and shoulders superior to what followed - you know, like, the one's where, like, Joss Whedon actually, like, had major involvement, and stuff - but still, the series as a whole had a satisfying feel to it. We had beautiful twenty something's running around sunny California, pretending to be teenagers, killing vampires and zombies and Inca Mummy Girls and Lizard Boys and teachers that turn into Giant Praying Mantis'.
I mean, what's not to love, douche bag?
So, with a sense of relative optimism, albeit eighteen years too late, I sat down to watch the movie that kickstarted the whole thing.
And what a load of old cobblers it is.
Maybe it's age, but this was an afront to everything I hold dear.
Dreadful, shrieking, shrill vacuous bints prattling on about their hair and their shoes and their dates and how their parents are, like, soooo lame.
Look, I know it was deliberate.
I fully understand that Joss Whedon was caricaturing the empty headed Jock and Jockette dullards that infest American High Schools and are preened over while the thinkers and the artists are called horrid names year after agonising year until they can take no more, grab their father's gun and load up on bullets bought from Walmart before going on a kill crazy rampage around their hometown.
I get all of that.
But it still didn't help the viewing experience.
Truthfully, I never reached the end, and really have not the energy to comment on this debacle any further.
Avoid like a swollen member dripping pus.
Looooser.

The Host (2006) Dir: Joon-ho Bong

I liked this, but I so wanted to love it.
On a warm, pleasant day down by the Han River in South Korea's capital, Seoul, there are people aplenty. Students relaxing by the water, couples walking hand in hand, just enjoying each others company. One family run business takes advantage of its strategic location, selling chocolate bars, cold drinks and simple meals to the milling masses. The father who runs the place seems to do all of the graft, his lazy, layabout son constantly falling asleep behind the counter, giving youngsters the opportunity to steal their goods. After a customer complains that their squid does not have enough tentacles (!) the younger of the two goes to hand them a replacement when something strange is seen hanging beneath the bridge. All eyes are drawn when, suddenly, it drops from the bridge, plunging into the water beneath. As the crowd gathers, something is seen approaching the shore, a dark shape beneath the surface that most seem to believe is a dolphin, increasing the excitement. As it reaches the riverbank, it's no fucking dolphin , instead an enormous-toothed beast with powerful legs for running and a gaping jaw that proceeds to go on the rampage, snapping at anything that moves.
Our young hero bravely tries to help those running but he too must flee and is horrified when he spies the monstrosity approaching his own daughter. As he tries to lure the thing away it ignores him, snatching her up in its mouth before plunging back into the river and away. Presumed dead, the father receives a call from his daughter (I apologise for the lack of identification but I'm no good with Korean names. Call me a daft old racist if you must) who informs him that she is in a sewer somewhere, though in a pit from which there is no escape.
So begins the hunt to find her before the creature devours her once and for all.
It's nonsense.
Of course it is, but well realised and fairly shocking nonsense at that.
The inspiration behind Cloverfield, apparently, the comparisons are limited once you get past the 'behemoth emerges from the water' angle as, culturally, the two movies are poles apart. Here, we see much more of the monster and, crucially, we get to know the characters involved much more intimately.
Being an Asian movie, there are issues for a Western viewer, particularly when it comes to the moments of humour - the scene where the family are grieving in an OTT manner is particularly bizarre - as, for the most part, humour is confined to one part of the world for a reason: No-one else finds it funny.
The monster itself is very well realised, albeit obviously CGI'd though, oddly, here it is not an issue, despite my constant gripings about the over-use of computer effects these days.
A schizophrenic movie, then, with moments to drop the jaw and moments to leave you scratching your head wondering just what the hell is going on, but never less than entertaining and, at times, spellbinding.
Check it out (subtitled preferably, not dubbed, you unspeakable droogs).

4 out of 5

Sweeney! (1977) Dir: David Wickes

Cult British police show classic The Sweeney spawned two spin off movies, the first of which – Sweeney! – by far the better of the pair.
The plot: A politician, known for an occasional dalliance with ladies of vice, is threatened with ruination when a prostitute he has been 'visiting' is found dead in his hotel suite. Rather than face up to his misdemeanours, he instead chooses to hide his involvement. All seems well, until a friend of the dead woman asks hard smoking, hard drinking, hard punching Detective Regan to investigate and, when he starts asking the right questions to the wrong people, a plan is set in motion to discredit him. Suspended from The Flying Squad on a drink driving charge that was only partially erroneous – he had been drinking though, to ensure a conviction, he was pulled over by a couple of crooked police sorts, kidnapped and forced to swallow an entire bottle of spirits – Regan must go it alone to uncover the truth, with even his ever faithful partner Carter reluctant to get involved.
Gritty is a word often batted about when The Sweeney is mentioned and, in this case, it is absolutely applicable.
Locations are chosen for their levels of dereliction and the dialogue is stripped to the bone, with barely a sentence passing by without an expletive or three offered, the conversations ribald and profane, though never without good reason. Inevitably, some of the language would be deemed inappropriate in this day and age, specifically in terms of attitudes towards race and women but, some allowance must be made given the context.
I’m not saying it’s OK, I’m just saying it’s understandable given the age of the movie and the type of characters portrayed.
Look, I said it’s not OK.
Heh!
What the hell are you doing? Why are you handcuffing me? Oh Christ, it’s the moral acceptability police come to take me away....and they're wearing Kevlar vests with the word OUTRAGED writ large across their chests.
With lashings of violence, though sporadic, and a crackling atmosphere, this is one TV to movie spin off that managed to make the transition without losing too much credibility.
Good stuff.

4 out of 5

Solaris (1972) Dir: Andrei Tarkovsky

Andrei Tarkovsky's original Solaris is a brooding, melancholic affair, beautifully shot, that is as absorbing as it is long.
The plot: A psychologist, Kris Kelvin, is sent to a space station orbiting the mysterious ocean planet Solaris, after reports of strange goings on aboard reach mission control, not to mention the disappearance and possible murder of one of the scientists aboard.
When Kris reaches the space station, he is greeted with open hostility by the two survivors, and is perplexed by the young woman he keeps seeing fleetingly, though no woman is reportedly aboard. It's not long before his sanity is stretched to breaking point as he is paid visits by his long dead wife, victim of suicide.
Where are the hallucinations coming from, and what is there purpose?
Could it be the planet itself trying to communicate with him?
Hauntingly emotive, this is a slow burner that will drag like a dog's posterior on wet grass for some, but will simply fly by for others.
If action, explosions and laser battles is what you look for in your sci-fi, steer well clear of this, for this is much more austere, a thinking man's science fiction movie, unfit for the dribbling masses.
As Tarkovsky's painful attention to detail allows the narrative to slowly unfold, at an achingly sombre pace, the majesty of the visuals sweeps you along, utterly captivating, utterly riveting, as scene after visually sumptuous scene will leave your mind reeling, convinced that someone must have spiked you with a hallucinogen, for how else to explain the wonders you are witnessing?
At two hours forty five in duration, this is challengingly long, especially bearing in mind that almost nothing happens, but this isn't about plot twists and sleight of hand scripting, this is all about sensory stimulation, and the director achieves his aim, and then some.
As beautifully evocative a movie as you are likely to see, this comes highly recommended.

5 out of 5

Serenity (2005) Dir: Joss Whedon

After the appalling network treatment of the excellent series, Firefly, it seemed only fitting that director and creator Joss Whedon was given the opportunity to complete his tale with this full scale, cinematic outing.
Serenity, a Firefly class salvage vessel, populated by a band of likeable vagabonds who take whatever work they can find, legal or otherwise. Among their number, Simon and River Tam, a brother and sister act, he a doctor, she a troubled sort, having been genetically and mentally 'altered' by The Alliance, the ruling force who, several years prior, won the war against the independents and now lead with an iron fist.
The Alliance are very keen to get their gauntlet clad hands on River once more, as Simon busted her out of their high security facility, but Captain Mal Reynolds is determined to keep them both safe.
An unnamed operative is sent by The Alliance to track down River and bring her back, dead or alive, with kill privileges in place as necessary, but River won't be easy to reclaim, not with Reavers in the area....
Effectively a scaled up version of one of the untransmitted episodes (Objects in Space) here the character of the bounty hunter Jubal Early is replaced by The Operative, though their raison d'etre remains the same.
With a bigger budget, the effects and action scenes are ramped up accordingly, though the beating heart of the series - the character interplay - is not forgotten, the script as witty and warm as anything seen in the series.
Fusing Western and Sci-Fi stylings may seem a strange idea at first but, even if you have not seen the TV show, you will quickly adapt to the oddness; the archaic language used on occasion, the swearing in Chinese, the combination of high and low technology and, unless you truly are the kind of monster who can only find entertainment nourishment from soap opera or reality TV blandness, you will be hard pressed not to be engaged right from the get go.
An excellent sci-fi adventure, here at last being given the respect it deserves, this is simply great.

The Exorcist (1973) Dir: William Friedkin

Without question the finest horror movie ever made, that has lost none of its power to freeze the blood in the near forty years since its original unleashing.
The plot: Regan, a young girl, daughter of a well known movie actress begins exhibiting startling and provocative behaviour, the extremity of which appears to be on the rise. Her mother tries all of the usual experts; doctors, psychiatrists, but none of them can explain her bizarre behaviour, much less the fact that, when in her frenzied state, her actual appearance appears to change almost as if she were becoming someone else, and someone damn ugly at that.
At her wits end, Regan's mother turns to those experts in all things spiritual (and a few other things I shall choose not to mention) the Catholic church, and begs a young priest, on the cusp of renouncing his own faith, to perform an exorcism on her daughter. Skeptical at first, he is soon convinced when he pays a visit on Regan, but he himself must seek permission from the Church. His immediate superior accepts his request, on the condition that an elder Priest lead the exorcism, Father Merrin, played with genuine conviction by the marvellous Max Von Sydow.
Can the two priests save the little girl and vanquish the evil spirit?
What was that damn stuff that spewed from her mouth?
And was there anyone that didn't cheer when the annoying drunken Englishman was hurled from the window?
This movie is so good it renders me literally speechless every time I watch it.
It has it all:
It's scary as hell, with an atmosphere to chill the stoniest of hearts.
There's the odd moment of gruelly nastiness, with the infamous pea soup vomit, head twisting sequences and vaginal abuse with a crucifix.
Talking of crucifixes being used inappropriately, there's a healthy line in blasphemy throughout - something I always approve of - with the church held up to ridicule by the monstrosity within the small girl though, of course, ultimately faith wins out over fear.
Shame.
The performances from all are top notch, with special mentions for Linda Blair as Regan, a more convincing teenager as demonic force you'll be hard pushed to find, whilst Ellen Burstyn (she sounds like someone who really needs to take a pee) does a sterling job of capturing the terror any parent would feel should their child happen to be, say, possessed by something monstrous.
Having spent time with my sister's kids, I think it's a more frequent occurrence than you may suspect.
Wonderfully paced, beautifully shot and THAT score from Mike Oldfield, this is about as good as cinema gets.

5 out of 5. Inevitably.

Reservoir Dogs (199) Dir: Quentin Tarantino

There are films and then there are great films.
Reservoir Dogs, a movie that came as a real wake up call to the stagnating crime thriller genre, as taut a movie as it is possible to conceive is as effective and gripping now as the day it first baited the Daily Mail and it's ilk upon release.
In case you have been trapped in an alternate dimension for the past 18 years, here's the plot:
A small group of criminals are hired by Joe Cabot, an old timer crook and his son Nice Guy Eddie to pull a heist on a diamond merchant. The plan is simple. Two on crowd control, one watching the door, two snatching the jewels. The gang are known only by their codenames, all colours. Things turn ugly when Mr. Blonde starts a shooting spree in the store, the gang forced to flee and head to their rendezvous point, an abandoned warehouse, at least those who survived the hail of bullets from the cops who seemed to be on the scene surprisingly quickly.
In the warehouse, those that remain try to piece together what really happened, as well as determine who ratted them out, whilst the whole time Mr. Orange is bleeding to death from a gun shot wound to the gut.
By turns stomach churning and laugh out loud funny - though only those with a taste for the macabre need apply - the combination of Tarantino's razor sharp scripting and seat of the pants direction draws you in, the tension ratcheted up by degrees until the final calamitous moments, showing a mastery of the directorial art that belied his status as a debutante behind the lens.
The lead actors give remarkably emotional and powerful performances, particularly Tim Roth and Harvey Kietel though, perhaps, the star turn here is Michael Madsen as the psychopathic Blonde.
In addition, Tarantino's selection of music is just about flawless, every tune chosen to add an extra dynamic to the scenes as they unfold and, notoriously, Wes 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' Craven is alleged to have left the cinema in disgust during the infamous 'ear-lop' scene as he felt the use of music was actually offensive, somehow downplaying the gravity of the events on screen.
Either that or he was simply green with envy that many moons had elapsed since last he had managed to sicken the audience so.
Intelligent, harrowing and genuinely nerve shredding, this is simply a masterpiece.

Rosemary's Baby (1968) Dir: Roman Polanski

Creepy and intense, vaguely Ssssatanic cult offering from that most notorious of tabloid baiting perverts, Roman Polanski, this is effectively chilling, though mystifying in its presence in the top 200 movies of all time, at least if those God Fearing Cretins over at IMDB are to be believed.
The plottage: TV and movie star Lothario Guy Woodhouse and his nymph like wife Rosemary move into a new dwelling in New Yoik, planning to embark on a life of unabashed married bliss. All goes well until Guy befriends the odd old neighbours from next door, a deliciously deviant elderly couple who couldn't be more Jewish if you stuck a Menorah up each of their arseholes and called them 'those Goldberg schmucks', soon after which Rosemary experiences a lucid dream involving much chanting, nudity, and beast like apparitions apparently impregnating her before, back in the real world, falling unexpectedly pregnant. Well, nosy neighbour Minnie insists on supplying her with vitamin drinks, and her doctor seems alarmingly unconcerned about the blistering pains she is suffering during her carriage.
Could it be the neighbours are a hideous coven of witches and warlocks and, horror of horror, could it be The AntiChrist himself (bend ye on worthless knee, puny mortals) she carries in her Earthly womb?
Well, could it?
Eh?
Polanksi delivers a supercharged miasma of twitchy, maternal nerves interwoven with some genuinely eerie atmospherics, as well as the occasional line of dialogue to freeze the blood:

"I dreamed someone was raping me. I think it was someone inhuman."

Fantastically unsettling, whether it deserves its repute as one of the best films ever made was a question I still could not answer even as the credits rolled.
Nevertheless, this is pretty damn riveting, so I'm puzzled as to why I find it odd that it's rated so highly.
Heh, maybe I'm a raging Anti-Semite and am yet to figure it out......

Quatermass 2 (1957) Dir: Val Guest

Hammer's movie version of the BBC sci-fi serial is utterly stunning.
The plot: Professor Quatermass is very annoyed that his initial proposals to colonise the moon have fallen on deaf ears, grumbling and muttering his discontent, but his attention is diverted when a steady stream of meteorites is detected crash landing in rural England, meteorites that seem to occur with monotonous regularity. Heading to investigate, Quatermass discovers the landing site, several meteorites present but, when one is investigated by his companion, it bursts open, spraying noxious gas into his face, blistering instantly. At that moment, a convoy of military sorts arrives, wielding weapons. Talking them down, Quatermass investigates further, discovering a project that bears alarming resemblance to his moon colony scheme, though this time it is alleged the project is to create synthetic food to feed the world.
But, if that is the case, why are they producing huge amounts of ammonia?
And why does it seem there is an alien lifeform inhabiting the domes?
Spooky, with a level of sinister dread that modern sci-fi/horror can only dream of, this is the stuff of nightmares. Yes, the budget is low and, yes, the production values suffer as a result, but this is the product of a fertile imagination and a blatant desire to create something new, something fresh.
Watching it now, it is truly hard to believe that this is a movie made in the 50's, even taking into account the clunky acting style and black and white filming.
It is also worth noting the direct influence the TV show this was based on, as well as the movie version itself, would have on Doctor Who, particularly the early Pertwee era. I'm thinking Spearhead from Space and Ambassadors of Death for those in the know.
As good as anything else Hammer ever produced and, frankly, as a lifelong devotee of both horror and sci-fi, about as good as either genre ever manages, this is creepy and intense viewing that should be more renowned than it is.
Excellent.

5 out of 5