Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009) Dir: John Hyams

Fourth installment of the super-soldier franchise is a depressingly dull affair.

The plot:
A bunch of terrorists seize control of the abandoned Chernobyl nuclear reactor, and threaten to use the nuclear energy still present to cause devastation on a scale never previously seen.
The solution?
Introduce original Universal Soldier Luc Devereaux to sort the fuckers out.

With a moderate budget, this initially manages to make the most of it's meagre resources but, strangely, the movie seems to lose momentum massively as soon as old creased-face Long Cord Man Slamme puts in an appearance.
And what an appearance.
He looks like he's turning into fucking leather.
To add a little bit of spice to proceedings, that other retro-bruiser Dolph Lundgren turns up and generally just gurns about the place, beating the living shit out of one or two likely sorts.
Violence wise, this is pretty intense, with prolonged fight sequences that are reasonably unflinching, and particularly well choreographed.
If only they'd left Man Slamme at home, this could have been a real winner.
Shame.
Disappointingly dull, then.

2 out of 5

Drunken Master (1978) Dir: Woo-ping Yuen

An early outing for Jackie Chan, here, somewhat ruined by the crushingly awful dubbing on the version I watched.
The plot:
Chan plays Freddie Wong, an obnoxious young prick-end who irritates everyone he meets to the point that they want to fight him.
Restaurant owners, women, crooks.
Everyone.
Tired of the antics of his son, Wong's father sends him to Beggar So, the Drunken Master, to teach him the error of his ways.
Wong is initially reluctant due to the Masters' reputation for working students so hard they wind up crippled, but soon comes around to the Master's teachings as he sees improvement. Finally, after much preparation, Wong is ready to fight off the villains who wish harm to his father and the family business.
It's tough for me to give this a fair review as the dubbing was so tiresome I began to lose interest. All that can be attested is that the fighting was quite excellent, some of the best I've seen in a Jackie Chan movie, with incredibly complex sequences choreographed to perfection, and only very limited use of wire-work.
Plot-wise, it's drivel of course and, as ever, some of the comedy doesn't translate particularly well, seeming remarkably juvenile but, if I were judging this on the fighting alone it would rate highly, but the talentless droogs doing the voice-over work killed this one stone dead here at Smell the Cult HQ.
Fighting: 5 out of 5.
Movie overall: 3 out of 5.

Shame.