Dead Silence (2007) Dir: James Wan

Undeservedly maligned 'proper' horror from Saw director James Wan and, yes, Saw writer, Leigh Whannell. (Oh and the score is provided by the same guy as Saw, too!)

The plot:
A nauseatingly happy young couple's lives are ruined when a mysterious package turns up on the doorstep. Large and unlabelled, they open the parcel and, within, discover a ventriloquist's mannequin, bedecked in a tuxedo and looking for all the world like something really fucking terrifying. Foolishly, they chose not to burn the blasted thing at once, as most rational people would have done and, instead, the guy goes out to get Chinese and, when he returns, his woman is dead, her tongue ripped clean from her throat.
So begins a sinister chain of events that will have ties back to his own family, will involve an unnecessarily wacky detective, and will feature the odd interlude of unfortunate CGI effects.

You know, I really like James Wan.
He's suffered, you see, from the massive success of Saw.
Unjustifiably.
He was only directly involved in the first installment - he exec. produced the rest, which basically means turned up one morning and drank some coffee - and a mighty fine 'tricks and traps' horror movie it is, too. He's not to be blamed for the annual derivation, the yearly drop in standards.
Give him a break, motherfuckers.
Take last years Insidious. Really creepy, really menacing, right up until the last twenty minutes, sure, but the first hour was just great.
So here we have some genuine scares, some real genre-literate horror movie-making that should make the piss-pricks responsible for atrocious Freddy/Jason/Leatherface remakes deeply, deeply ashamed.
It's not perfect: it'll be too old school for some, whilst occasionally killing the atmosphere for the old school fans through some desperately unwanted CGI shots, but this is still decent horror and, frankly, that is more than can be said for most of the pap that is out there nowadays.
Quite liked this one.

4 out of 5

Paranormal Activity 2 (2010) Dir: Tod Williams

You know, I've seen so many horror movies I could not even begin to muster a guess at the grand total. In the thousands, I should imagine, it's got to be and, in all this time, I can honestly say that perhaps three, maybe four have genuinely scared me.
The Exorcist had me aquiverin', Candyman put the willies up me, as it were, and then....and then.....I'm already struggling to think of another
Until today.
Paranormal Activity 2, I reluctantly admit, scared the bejaysus out of me.
Whilst we are in confession mode, I must admit to not having seen the original, so have no frame of reference but, if this sequel is anything to go by, that must have been one seriously good horror movie, assuming the law of deminishing returns applies here as it does with most franchises.
The plot: A wealthy couple with a teenage daughter and a young baby move into a new house, along with their nanny. The nanny tells them that there are sinister spirits in the house, but is promptly sacked by the father when she attempts to exorcise them with some mysterious vapours. He doesn't hold with that sort of nonsense. Quickly, however, he changes his tune as, in a gradual, nerve-shredding escalation, disturbing events transpire in the home, primarily at night.
And it is heart stopping stuff.
The direction is twitchy, almost spastic, and this draws you right in to the action. Liberal application of PoV shots adds to the realism but, as is often the way, it's what you don't see that really spooks you.
Fundamentally, of course, this is not much more than a retread of Amityville, but it it is all handled so expertly that that is quickly forgiven, as blood freezing horror after blood freezing horror is presented.
I was gripping the cinema seat armrest so hard it would not have surprised me at all had the bloody thing ripped right off.
Genuinely frightening, utterly disturbing, this is a masterclass in terror.
Superb.

5 out of 5