Apollo 18 (2011) Gonzalo López-Gallego

Something horrible lurks on the moon.

The plot:
Officially, Apollo 17 was the final mission to the moon for NASA but, in this 'found footage' movie, we see the reason that, even though Apollo 18 actually launched, nothing was ever revealed about it's mission.
Two astronauts arrive on the surface of the moon and, before very long at all, they begin to feel creeped out. Strange noises, odd video footage and, most disturbingly, unknown footprints in the lunar soil.
Following the path, the pair discover a Russian landing vessel and, within, signs of a struggle.
Exploration of the nearby area reveals a cosmonaut, dead, apparently by violent means.
Will the pair get off the surface?
Or will they meet the same end as their cold war rivals.

You know, found footage movies have every right to feel a bit 'last century,' yet this manages to engage from the off.
With a brief runtime that really serves a purpose, there is no time to waste on unnecessaries and, instead, the intensity soon begins to ratchet.
With some pretty cool visuals - the 'thing' inside the spacesuit is particularly frightening - and solid performances, this relies on genuine scares and stripped down sensibilities, and really delivers the goods.
Literally taking a long, hard running piss at the likes of Transfuckers 3, this is down to the bone movie making that packs a significant punch.
Liked it very much indeed.

4 out of 5

Paranormal Activity (2007) Dir: Oren Peli

Low budget, low-fi spook fest that really delivers.
The plot:
Micah and Katie are a regular couple, but their lives are turned upside down when nightly, spooky occurrences drive them both to the brink of sanity.
And damned effective it is, too.
Shot on a shoe string, this is minimalist horror that relies on atmosphere and the power of persuasion to instill the fear.
Nothing much happens: a door shifts here; a shadow lurks there.
Yet still this drips menace.
Effectively a two-hander, with only the brief interruption of a third person, the most impressive thing of all is the relationship between the two besieged in their own home as, truthfully, you really feel that they are a couple, she, a terrified woman, imprisoned in her own home, he, a bit of a joker, not really taking it all as seriously as he should.
As the tension builds, all eyes are drawn to the mystifyingly open bedroom door, awaiting a spectre and, even as the very brief credits roll, the image of that portal to impending terror will loom large.
No gore.
No theatrics.
No incidental music.
This is horror as real as it gets, and only loses a mark as it is not quite as intense as it's own sequel.
Jolly good, spooky fun.

4 out of 5

Stake Land (2010) Jim Mickle

It's post apocalyptic.
It's a vampire tale.
It's a post-apocalyptic vampire tale.
The plot:
The world has been decimated by a plague of vampires. America seems to have been the first to fall, the outbreak starting in the south and sweeping northward. People blockaded themselves into townships, but these proved useless. Now, all that survives of society is an occasional settlement, guarded fiercely, and a cult of religious fanatics known as The Brotherhood, keen that all should follow their God, and prepared to massacre anyone who resists.
We follow Mister, a craggy old vampire hunter, and Martin, a young man without a family who he has taken under his wing as they head north, attempting to find New Eden. Along the way, they'll meet skin headed brethren, blood spewing vampires and Top Gun's Kelly McGillis.
And it's quality stuff, to be honest.
An independent movie, this easily casts off the limitations that Hollywood imposes and offers instead a melancholic, relentlessly bleak little tale.
The special effects, though sparse, are effective enough, and the occasional moment of insane violence unsettling, for sure.
Tonally, this has echoes of Diary of the Dead, thematically, we can see glimpses of Near Dark and last years excellent low budget creature feature Monsters, so it's in damn fine company.
As with all good genre fare, this is allegorical if you care to look for it (the religious are worse than the infected), but this can just as easily be viewed as a straight forward monster movie, though a pretty damned downbeat one.
Not really breaking any new ground - although the vampire 'bombs' the Brotherhood drop were a novelty - this is still a sure-footed, miserabilist horror movie, just like Grandma used to make.
Liked it a lot.

4 out of 5

Burn After Reading (2008) Dir: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen

The Coen's Burn After Reading took a bit of a critical mauling upon first release, and probably deservedly so.
Just about.
The plot:
John Malkovich plays Osbourne Cox, soon to be retired CIA agent whose assistant frequents a local gymnasium. Whilst there, she inadvertently leaves her gym bag, in which is a disk containing a working copy of Cox's memoirs. Two gym employees discover the bag and decide that, instead of handing it in, they should attempt to extort as much money as possible from 'interested parties'. Trouble is, they have no idea what they are looking at, nor who would be interested.
So begins a cat and mouse game of espionage bumbling of epic proportions.
A bit of a knockabout comedy, the humour here is broader than usual for the Coen's, Raising Arizona and The Hudsucker Proxy notwithstanding.
Malkovich is excellent as the visibly enraged agent, as are Coen stalwarts Clooney and McDormand, but special mention must be made of Pitt's performance which is just....odd. Wacky and irritating is about the best fit, to the extent that I began to suspect he had discovered Scientology.
Whilst not a patch on the Coen's more weighty works, this was never meant to be viewed as such and, as a bit of throwaway fluff, it passed an hour and a half.
I'll never watch it again, though, and I don't say that about many of their films.
Average.

3 out of 5.
But only just.